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Anger is a powerful emotion that all of us will know in some form or expression throughout our life. More often than not it is unhelpful though it can be helpful and positive if channeled appropriatly and in a timely fashion. Behind the personal behaviour is a force, a strong energy. This energy takes on the form of anger just like it can also take on other emotional forms such as sadness, fear and frustration. Anger in isolation becomes a THING, an object to which we relate, an event, outburst or action to, when in reality it is an activity, a flow of force. It is often associated with a physical adrenalin rush of some sort that then precipitates into our behaviours.
Anger can and does cause harm, harm to ourselves, harm to others, harm to our communities and in the bigger picture harm to the planet. It has a close association with our fears and inhibitions. You could say that Angers brother is fear and its sister is sadness. We spend an immeasurable amount of money, time and energy on managing the affects of anger and frustration within ourselves, our lives and our community, to which most of the time with little success.
Unfortunately many of us lack the skills and ability to manage feelings of anger and to channel this energy with more positive and productive outcomes. Our emotional education lacking, our sensitivity denied and our natural balanced response to circumstance functioning more as an overreaction to crisis. In essence when anger is out of control in our lives we are functioning from our primal self need for protection, the fight and flight responses overly active. Our body and sub conscious mind percieving threat to life from normally non threatening events, instinct takes hold of us rather than understanding and balanced perception response. Its at this time that we truely need help.
To truely reduce the damaging effects of anger we need to start from the ground up, to be less focussed on events and more foccussed on the fears we hold in ourselves. The need to re educate ourselves emotionally, engage with our core beliefs and values to recognise the conflicts we are having within ourselves and with others. Recognise the chips we have on our shoulders, the lack of belief in ourselves, the self esteem issues we carry with us and the thoughts and feelings we take ownership of that basically disempower us and diminish our ability to be fully present in our relationships, our jobs, and our choices. Know your past, what you have experienced in life and what events, circumstances and interactions have impacted upon you to sculpt the YOU that you are embodying now.
Its so easy to pathologise anger and to discuss it as a wrongness and illness because often its the most outwardly obvious behaviour that has precipitated some crisis or life event. In reality though it is only a small part of a larger culture that we incarnate within ourselves. Prolonged and affective relief from the imbalance and escalation of angry feelings comes essentially from productive Re education, education that helps us understand the energies, drives, instincts and motivations that impel us into action. To further understand our hormones, aging processes and physical health condition and to what effect these are having upon us. To deeply and authentically understand our inherent beliefs, values, attitudes and culture which fertilise the garden of our self expression and model our individual self esteem.
Often the level of help a person needs with anger management depends on the devastation that has been caused to family, friends, employment and life in general by its affects. As discussed the management of anger is often only the beginning of a journey into ourselves and that which motivates and inspires us. There are many roads that this journey can take, some of these roads will pathologise and inevitably lead to a medical and psychological intervention, others will take you on roads of self discovery that you may not have considered before. Anger management is not the home of any one method, technique or system of health, to some the ongoing love and support of those around them is enough to help them navigate a difficult time of life. To others whose behaviours are having negative social impact and are causing possible physical, emotional and psychological harm to others, the nature of behaviour management can be more immediate & intense and have its own outcomes and consequences.
Health retreats can offer some help for the management of anger and if you are fortunate enough to find the assistance and re education from the people and culture of such retreats that serves you then this can only contribute to a positive pathway into a better future.